The Quickest Possible Game of a Monopoly-like-game

Go England!

Just a quick post today on a recent revelation I had about Monopoly. In one of my earliest posts I wrote about Monopoly as a Parasite-Zombie-Hydra-Vampire-Cannibal and ended that post with the claim that Monopoly is “a shitty game”. Well now I’m not so sure. I may owe a big apology to Charles Darrow and the good folk at Hasbro.

You see, there’s been a YouTube video doing the rounds lately of what is (allegedly) “The World’s Shortest Game of Monopoly,” but several of my friends have been pointing out that they are not playing according to the rules. Here’s an excerpt from the blog post that accompanies the video:

Player 1, Turn 1:
Roll: 6-6, Lands on: Electric Company
Action: None, Doubles therefore roll again

Roll: 6-6, Lands on: Illinois Avenue
Action: None, Doubles therefore roll again

Roll: 4-5, Lands on: Community Chest “Bank error in your favor, Collect $200″
Action: Collects $200 (now has $1700)

According to the official rules if you land on a property and decline to purchase it, it is put up for auction among the players. So the 21 seconds it takes them to complete the game would really take much longer. You cannot simply take no action and move on.  You have to hold an auction.

I have played Monopoly many times over the course of my life and I have never, ever played according to this rule, despite the fact that it is printed right there in black & white in the rulebook (I checked).  Apparently, the rule is a closely guarded secret, known only to an exclusive elite of Monopoly players (i.e. the ones who read the fucking rules).  It is a rule so secret that it is hidden in plain sight.

The upshot of all this is that the shortest possible Monopoly game is not only a fiction; it is an alternate reality fantasy fiction set in a world in which Monopoly is played in a totally different way. But here’s the thing: one of the most common complaints about Monopoly is that games last too long, but this secret (official) rule would certainly make games much shorter. Every time someone lands on a property it is going to be purchased by someone, so all the properties would be owned much sooner than in the Monopoly-like-game that I have always played.

So I have never played Monopoly. I’m curious to give it a try. I’ve heard a lot about it.